Is Self-Care Selfish?
Hey, friends!
Well if you’ve known me for any length of time, you know that I am a “goal-getter”! Ever since I can remember, I’ve had big dreams and I will literally do everything in my power to achieve those dreams. That means early mornings, late nights, constant conversations….you name it. But over the past several months, I’ve been on a journey that has led me to a profound truth that I was missing for a long time. I can’t pour into others if I am not being filled. Let me put that another way…. Although I LOVE serving others, I cannot truly give the best of myself if I’m not first taking care of myself. That’s true for me...and it’s true for you too.
So what exactly have I learned? What can we do to be better, so that we can serve better? I’m glad you asked :-)
Here Below Are My 5 Self-Care Secrets
Schedule your time wisely.
Ok, I know that sounds over-simplified. It may sound simple, but it is so profound! For a good part of my life, I just did the next thing that came up in my day. That lack of intentionality with my schedule created rhythms of stress and exhaustion. I would go, go, go, go, go, crash. Trust me, that kind of lifestyle is not healthy.
So lately, I’ve learned to control my time instead of letting it control me. I’ve invested in tools and resources to help me be more intentional. One of those “game changers” for me was Whitney Nelson’s Google Calendar Training. After an hour spent with Whit, I was able to organize my time (and my life). Now, I make sure that my schedule is balanced, including activities that fill me so that I’ll be ready to pour into others. Here’s another great resource that I’ve used when I need to see it all on paper: The Simplified Planner with Emily Ley
Prioritize personal growth.
Another way that I’ve been more intentional with self-care is prioritizing personal growth. Because my brain never turns off (literally), it’s easy for me to fall into the trap of information overload. I can easily spend my entire day and night focused on my business.
However, since I’ve been better about planning my time, I’ve made sure to schedule time for my own personal development. Now, what that looks like for you may very well be different than what it is for me. Podcasts, audiobooks, social media groups, and sermons are just a few of the ways that I invest in myself. Again, how can I expect to give to others if I’m not first investing in myself?
Avoid the comparison trap.
I have to admit, this one is hard for me. I am incredibly driven and I want to succeed so badly! Sometimes, that can backfire on me if I get caught in the comparison trap. I don’t know about you, but I spend way too much time there. Many times, I don’t even realize that I’m comparing myself to others until it’s too late. Before I know it, I’m left discouraged and drained.
So how do we avoid comparison’s crippling curse? We slow down and shift our perspective. Because a large part of my business is done online, I am constantly on social media. I am bombarded daily with everyone else’s wins, their successes, and achievements. It’s a rare occurance to see other people in my field talk about their struggles, even though, when I stop and think about it, I know they exist. So when I’m feeling the walls of comparison closing in, I turn it off.
I put my phone away.
I spend time with my husband.
I go outside and play with my kids.
I call a close friend.
These things remind me that my value, my worth, is not based on my performance or how others perceive me. And not to mention, the quickest way to kill comparison is being grateful for everything that you have right here, right now.
Cultivate encouraging community.
I know it may seem odd at first, but one of the best ways we can care for ourselves is by surrounding ourselves with people who truly care about us. If we’re being honest, we’d say that there are days where we all struggle. From time to time, I can find myself in a “funk” that I cannot break out of on my own. These are the times where I lean on my community.
Now, by “community”, I’m not necessarily talking about the physical location where you live. I’m referring more to the people in your life who you care about and who care about you. Your family, your friends, your spouse, your kids; these are all part of your community. Here’s the thing about true community though….it doesn’t just happen on it’s own. Communities are built on intentionality and vulnerability.
It’s been said that relationships are like bank accounts. You have to make deposits if you want to be able to make withdrawals. In the same way, if you want to have people who “have your back” when you need it, you have to intentionally invest in those relationships daily. For me, I have friends all over the country, the world even, who I know will take my call whenever I need them. But it’s only because I’ve intentionally made “deposits” in those relationships over time.
Lastly, if you want a true community, you have to be vulnerable. You have to let people in, you have to share your struggles, you have to trust others to help you. After all, how can someone help you if they never know that you need help? Think about it….what good is it to have a community of friends and supporters if all of the relationships are built around the person that you want them to see, rather than who you really are? I know it might be scary at first. But trust me, I can say this from my own experience, it’s worth the risk.
Invest in your physical and mental health.
With that being said, I’ll go first in being vulnerable. Investing in my physical and mental health has been a huge struggle for me for a long time. I can’t quite explain why. Maybe I needed to work on the areas I’ve listed above before I could really commit to this one. Whatever the reason, I’m now seeing how my lack of investment in my physical and mental health was keeping me from reaching my full potential, both in life and in business.
For the past month, my husband and I have been working out routinely. Four to five mornings every week, we get up early, set up our living room with workout mats, dumbbells, and bottles of water. Most of the time, we kick toys out of the way and try to corral our kids to their rooms so they’re not climbing on our backs during pushups. I mean, they’re hard enough without the extra weight! Even though it’s difficult and some days I honestly don’t want to do it, we’ve pushed through.
We’ve also been making better nutritional choices. Not perfect. But better. After all, it’s about progress, not perfection. We’re striving each day to be better than the day before. Better tomorrow, than today. That’s all we can do, right?
But there’s one more thing, one key, that has unlocked our will, our drive, our focus, and our determination to endure. Let me introduce you to “My Secret Weapon”. It’s called Plexus: The Health and Happiness Company. Now, I know you’re probably thinking 1 of 2 things:
1. What the heck is Plexus?
2. Oh here we go again….
If you’re #1, I’ve got you! Keep reading! If you’re #2, I get you. Trust me, I am a skeptical person by default. So when I saw and heard so many of my friends talking about the benefits of Plexus and their “Pink Drink”, I just kept scrolling. But one day, it just hit me out of nowhere. These people, the ones who won’t stop talking about these products, are my friends. They’re not complete strangers. They’re people that I like, that I know, and that I trust. So why would so many of them be saying all of these incredible things if they weren’t true?
So my husband and I, after weeks of research, decided to give it a shot. They have a 60-Day Money Back Guarantee, so what did we have to lose? We talked with a trusted friend who sold the products about our individual health goals and she made recommendations based on what we wanted to see improve. And boy did it…. Since I’ve been taking my Plexus products consistently, I’ve seen a major increase in my energy levels, my focus, my digestive health, and my overall mood. Literally, I am a happier wife, momma, and friend. Honestly, I feel like Plexus has helped give me my life back. In my business, I’m getting more accomplished than ever before because I feel so much better. My husband, he’s lost 15 pounds in just a few weeks and feels better than he has in years.
Now that we’ve discovered this incredible tool to taking better care of ourselves, we want to share it with all of our friends. It truly has the potential to change your life forever….and we don’t want to keep that a secret. You can learn more about my journey and these incredible products by clicking on the picture below. I hope you enjoyed this blog! Please share your best self-care secrets in the comments!
